every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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