The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
