the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
