chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
