I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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