I think im going to throw up on grandma
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
