there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
