seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize