Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
