how can u be prego again
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
