I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
