do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
