She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
