I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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