Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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