if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
