i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
