4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
