bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
