whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
