So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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