I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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