Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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