is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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