Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
