i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
