What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
