One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize