does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
