i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think I am morally bankrupt
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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