Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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