You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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