I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
