I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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