Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Four minutes until I can fart!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
