Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
