Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
