If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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