Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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