Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
