just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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