Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
