at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Come see our sink grown plant.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
