it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
soo... how was my night?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
