Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
