tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
honey bunches of taint.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
