youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
