i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
