Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
