if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
