i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
