before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
smell my finger.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize