I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
