so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
my liver is dry heaving
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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