i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
