just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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