We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
