Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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